This is my version of 70. A few more wrinkles, but I wear them proudly. 25 years as a competitive figure skater and 50 years surfing longboards. There's no stopping me.

Hey M/BODY fam. I've been a part of M/BODY for 4 years. This past February I needed to leave to find clarity within myself and the online world. I am 35 years old for reference, and growing up with the internet has been fun, exciting, and a good in the world... however, things became frightening for me and I felt like was a slave to the online world rather than a master of it. I couldn't keep up. And it made my question my place here even more.

I felt like I abandoned you all, because in a way I did. I have felt how wrong that is and I am sorry. You see, I used to believe that the feelings we share here are real and the connections we make are real. And then doubt seeped in. I got scared and my past experiences of being lied to, like by my mother & sister, got in my head and I didn't know if I could trust it here. I have been abandoned myself, and I began to wonder if the feelings I feel here are real. I got scared and didn't want to get hurt, and I left. I hope you can forgive me. I have struggled my entirety wondering if I fit in here... But one thing is for certain, I don't feel like myself without these workouts. I truly love this format and the music.I love who I am in these workouts.  I know I fit in there. I forgot to focus on the love in my heart. I am afraid to admit it because If I admit what I love, does it have power over me?? It comes back to the pain from my mother, I loved her and she did not love me back and I lived my entire childhood doing everything to get her attention and approval. I am so afraid women will be like that to me... and I am still learning to trust even with that grief in my heart. Through the years, I have protected my heart as If I am a wounded animal... I get closed off, scared, runaway, etc. I hope you can understand that. 

I'm a sensitive woman. I care more than enough. I am truly sorry and I hope you all can forgive me. But a side note, I kept wondering, should I say goodbye leaving a platform or say something. Like what are the mannerisms & etiquettes of the online world, because it can feel abrupt, and too fast for my soul. It didn't feel right to build a connection to the platform, then the membership is up and it's just gone. That doesn't feel right to me. Therefore, I am going to do my best to do the right thing, not just in real life, but even online. Because manners and etiquette mean something. 

Sending my love, and I'm glad to be back. 

I can't be at the Live today, but I just wanted to send a TON of love to Marnie. We are all with you and here to hold you up today and always. I am sending my best vibes from desk crew, and I know the rest of our community is too. Can't wait to stretch it out when I get home! Love to everyone and hope you're all having a great week!🐾❤️

Hey M/Body fam! First off, sending so much love to Marnie and her pups as they move through this loss. We are all ready to embrace you and be in community together on Wednesday <3

Secondly, I wanted to ask what rituals you do on or off the mat that enhance your M/Body experience. It could be anything simple like burning a candle, or if you make a whole morning of it I’d love to know that too. Looking for some inspiration on how to add to this beautiful daily ritual of movement I have going on. Thanks y’all!

Sharing these words from one of my favourite poets for Marnie & Whiskey ❤️🐾