September 13, 2023

Please bear with me….I’m being vulnerable here. :-)
I have a confession. I have often felt excluded when not getting a shout out from Marnie during the lives. Eeek! Also, I find it difficult to keep up with all the messages in the thread. LOL I have been in therapy since my 20s, so I decided to reframe things for myself. I used to hit the workouts where I got a shoutout, which is great. But I wanted to focus on the joy of just the workout. And, honestly, it’s been working. Letting go of the thoughts in my head, my envy….and just feeling the joy of the workout.
I needed this joy b/c my life is just a mess. Dealing with aging parents is no joke. My dad was hospitalized recently with COVID, pneumonia, and a bacterial infection. Amazingly, he’s recovering well. Although he was a PITA to the hospital (b/c of his dementia). My marriage is in a difficult place. I just don’t where it will go. We’ve been in therapy and he’s seeking individual therapy. Our main issue is his relationship with our son. It’s strained. But my husband is unhappy and depressed in NC (as am I) and want to move back to CO. We’ll get there…the stars have to align, along with interest rates. :-) I recently joined a community of moms with neurodivergent kiddos (my son has ADHD, anxiety, depression) and it’s been a tremendous space of support. My husband is actually going to Denver this weekend and I know the space will be good. Oh, did I mention I’m also on the school PTA, organizing programs to come to the school? I’m stretched, for sure. And…today, my dog needs a tooth extraction. Man!
All this to say…always remember it’s not about the accolades but about the joy. I can still feel it, even if I don’t get a shoutout. :-) I think this is a wonderful community. My participation is sporadic but I can still feel the wonderful love.

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