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October 09

Dearest M/BODY fam,

I’m going on a little health journey and since it’s October, breast cancer awareness month, I wanted to share it with you. In April I shared with some M/BODY fam that I was going in for a needle biopsy, the fam gave me the strength to face it with strength and positivety. I waited all summer to consult with a breast surgeon, misunderstanding that this was because they found calcifications that were suspicious and they wanted me to go through the next steps. In August I was given a new mammogram that found another suspicious area so I had another biopsy. This time I felt brave enough to handle it, worked out and really leaned into the posture classes etc and I bounced back in week and no cancer. But now I’m facing an excisional biopsy surgery to remove the lump so that they can study it and find out if it is cancer. I’m extremely lucky that I screen every year and that my health providers are so cautious. While it doesn’t alleviate all my fear, I’m grateful for science and medicine in case I’m faced with more difficulty. I wanted to share with you because I trust all of you, and you’ve given powerful strength and light when it’s needed. So next Wednesday send a little power to your girl, and let’s hope for a clean bill of health. I won’t be able to get back to the mat for a few weeks but I’ll always be there in spirit and of course on the playback, I’ll miss it terribly but this is temporary. Sending you all love, birthday wishes, congratulations and great work to all of you in advance! Love to all of you 💗💗💗

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October 09
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My sweet girl Lou and I love our mornings with Marnie. Lou is 6 months old and has been watching M/body workouts since the day she came home. 💕

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October 03
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It’s been a busy few months and have missed the last several lives and I’m feeling it! But managed to make the house a little spooky this week for the kiddos. Thankful for the opportunity to keep coming to the mat, even if it’s at 9:30pm some nights ha. Happy Pumpkin Season! 🎃

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September 21

Random thought. So when working out I often need to manage my time so I can fit in my workouts. Any thought of having a timer on screen that says how much time we have been working out and sort of counts it down so you know 30 mins left. 10 mins left etc. I think that would be helpful.

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September 21
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This is my version of 70. A few more wrinkles, but I wear them proudly. 25 years as a competitive figure skater and 50 years surfing longboards. There's no stopping me.

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September 21
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Update!!! 💙💙💙

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September 18
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Etsy

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September 17
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Had to share this moment with yall! After yesterday's ballet stretch class we had the minister marry us in Caswyns mom's kitchen so she could be witness 🥹 love yall so much!!! So grateful for this fam 💙🫂

Ps. Marnie mentioned a request, this is a little ridiculous but American Wedding by Gogo Bordello has been nonstop in my head 😅🤘 or anything from the Pony album by Orville Peck 💙

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September 16

Hey M/BODY fam. I've been a part of M/BODY for 4 years. This past February I needed to leave to find clarity within myself and the online world. I am 35 years old for reference, and growing up with the internet has been fun, exciting, and a good in the world... however, things became frightening for me and I felt like was a slave to the online world rather than a master of it. I couldn't keep up. And it made my question my place here even more.

I felt like I abandoned you all, because in a way I did. I have felt how wrong that is and I am sorry. You see, I used to believe that the feelings we share here are real and the connections we make are real. And then doubt seeped in. I got scared and my past experiences of being lied to, like by my mother & sister, got in my head and I didn't know if I could trust it here. I have been abandoned myself, and I began to wonder if the feelings I feel here are real. I got scared and didn't want to get hurt, and I left. I hope you can forgive me. I have struggled my entirety wondering if I fit in here... But one thing is for certain, I don't feel like myself without these workouts. I truly love this format and the music.I love who I am in these workouts.  I know I fit in there. I forgot to focus on the love in my heart. I am afraid to admit it because If I admit what I love, does it have power over me?? It comes back to the pain from my mother, I loved her and she did not love me back and I lived my entire childhood doing everything to get her attention and approval. I am so afraid women will be like that to me... and I am still learning to trust even with that grief in my heart. Through the years, I have protected my heart as If I am a wounded animal... I get closed off, scared, runaway, etc. I hope you can understand that. 

I'm a sensitive woman. I care more than enough. I am truly sorry and I hope you all can forgive me. But a side note, I kept wondering, should I say goodbye leaving a platform or say something. Like what are the mannerisms & etiquettes of the online world, because it can feel abrupt, and too fast for my soul. It didn't feel right to build a connection to the platform, then the membership is up and it's just gone. That doesn't feel right to me. Therefore, I am going to do my best to do the right thing, not just in real life, but even online. Because manners and etiquette mean something. 

Sending my love, and I'm glad to be back. 

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September 16

I can't be at the Live today, but I just wanted to send a TON of love to Marnie. We are all with you and here to hold you up today and always. I am sending my best vibes from desk crew, and I know the rest of our community is too. Can't wait to stretch it out when I get home! Love to everyone and hope you're all having a great week!🐾❤️

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