September 20, 2023

Hey fam,

I was on the yoga mat last night and attempted the class I was planning on doing last Tuesday, the only day off on that giant tour I was on. Once the cardio burst came into play, I knew the class was for another day, slightly bummed because I LOVE jumping around on the mat, I chose ballet stretch 309 and it was perfect and exactly the pace I needed to check my balance and stretch deeply.

While I was on the mat something Marnie said resonated with me (i can't remember what exactly) and a message came through my hea

Fall in love with healing.

It's been about a week since I've been in another car accident. But this was different. Lpng story somewhat short... Four days away from home from our amazing 5 week tour, someone rear ended the passenger's side of our van going over 90 mph and then fled the scene. The impact was so hard I flew forward and slammed back so hard the seat reclined the whole way. I ended up blacking out and had been dealing with severe whiplash and insane body soreness. Luckily, the girl who hit us went away in a cop car and we went off to the emergency room. While I get extremely bummed about the whole thing, I try to replace the grief with extreme gratitude considering how much worse this could have been. Somehow the van continued to work. The instruments survived and we didn't die or get injured much worse. We finished the tour and finally got home on Sunday. The doctors were amazed that I had no serious neck or spinal bone injuries and mentioned that it's probably because it looked strong and healthy. I have scoliosis, of course I chalked that up to this practice.

Still have to make sure there's no other damage, and get some more tests done that I gotta be strong for, but I can say for sure that I walked away okay enough from that because of this practice.

While I hate getting hurt (arm dislocation, tooth extraction, extreme depression, covid, family issues, breakups, death, etc.) I realized during today's class, the first one I did in my living room after truck stops, parks and hotel rooms for a month...

That everytime we get to heal is an opportunity to start from the ground up. It's the ultimate beginner's mind and we're forced to listen to every ounce of ourselves and decide to try every movement. It's challenging, but we've trained for this ;) I've been sitting at my shows instead of jumping around (which makes me afraid people won't like my music anymore.. which is stupid, so I'm trying to think of it as a special rare set of healing shows lol ) but even with that, the chair grounds me so I don't do something stupid while playing and I get to focus more on the root of that practice.

Anyways, I almost wrote in here last week right after it happened but have been caught up in the whirlwind of making calls, unpacking, dealing with insurance and finding time to rest. I also realize I forget the community board is here as I'm usually more active on IG, and considering I need to hold back posting while everything processes, i feel safe enough to share on here. So not making anything about the accident public ๐Ÿ™ I'm very grateful for this space because it's hard to be quiet when something like this happens.

I know a lot of us are going through heavy, draining, intense times. So I figured that I'd share these thoughts. That maybe having to heal can be a beautiful beginning and you're not alone in your healing even it's its TOTALLY different from everyone elses.

This fall... I'm going to fall in love with healing.

Just wanted to put that out there for whoeever might need it <3

Love y'all and this family so much. Thank you for being there for me throughout the years. Also making me strong enough to survive the impossible... again!

๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™

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