Starting off my day with a spinach, peach, ginger, and chia seed smoothie. 

Hey fam! So excited for the month of August. I've been feeling a sense of renewal and good cheer. Today I doubled up on the workouts and I must say, I love the T-swift class even more. I remember how challenging it was when I first time around, and this time everything just clicked, as if my body just knew what to do. So much fun and so joyful! (Thanks Marnie) My younger self would be so proud of the fact I signed up for M/Body and have given myself the chance to learn and grow through dance and fitness! 

Also, this week I reached a personal goal of mine, I walked 20,000 steps the other day! Since the challenge began, I decided to walk each day as a meditation and reflection. It's been really rejuvenating overall. 

Plus, my spark for interior design has sprung up and I've been redecorating. I believe the wellness activity of cleaning out the cabinets reminded me of how beautiful spaces are good for the soul. 

I'm so happy to be here and I'm so grateful for all the love and support you have shown me. It means a lot. I love working out together. I hope you all are well. Love to you all! 

Photo - a pic of a wildflower in my garden 

Jessica's previous post on the loss of her beloved friend and grief hit home. Loss is hard. The deep sorrow of grief doesn't go away, you just somehow learn to live with it. And I am so sorry. 

Summer has been particularly difficult for me. My mom died in July of 2008 and her birthday was this past June. The baby I was pregnant with was due in June. Each summer since her death I feel lost. I still grieve the loss of my mother and what could've been. She was a mother of 5 with me being in the middle. She died of cancer and my brothers were 10 and 8 years old when she passed. Shortly after her death, my now husband and I moved back in with my dad to help him out. He left us and my husband and I have taken care of the house and my brothers over the last 9 years. I felt much shame because of my circumstance. Grieving my own brokenness and broken family, we wanted our baby and to begin a new family. So it's been a whirlwind of emotions. 

I didn't expect my life to turn out this way but after years of pain, I have made peace as best I can. It has been an honor to raise my brothers and that we have been able to give them stability in their life. I used to wonder "why" and I didn't understand because I was angry. But then I remembered, I wasn't the only one grieving. I had to accept we all handle grief in our own ways even when it doesn't make sense. I found forgiveness for my dad. "This pain will have purpose," are words I have said over and over to help me through. 

During these times, I typically feel scared, anxious, and alone. I don't want to burden anyone so I  usually keep my pain hidden. But I feel I can express myself here on this cb. Even though we all come from different backgrounds and live in various parts of the world, we are all more alike than not and our uniqueness is beautiful. Thank you all because the love and support you share with me and one another has shown me that it's okay to show vulnerability. 

So it's been tough and I'm doing the best I can. I have love in my heart and that's why it hurts. That love needs somewhere to go and I don't know where to put it.. that's okay, that's how grief can be. Life is messy. I'm a mess sometimes and that's alright. No one is perfect and we make mistakes both big and small and true love heals. Even though my life isn't what I thought it would be, I'm joyful for the gifts this pain has brought me. 

I'm grateful for the summer challenge. It hasn't been easy staying focused and I'm "behind" but I'm putting my best forward each day. I honor these losses by showing up as I am and doing the best I can living in truth, dignity, love, and honesty. Yes, it's hard, but I believe it is worth it. It is worth it because there is love in my heart and that is true. Thank you all for being here and for sharing your love

Hey fam. After the live, I went for a walk and took a pair of headphones to listen to some music. After reflecting on the reverence, I desired to give my soul some fun. Idk why, but the song Owner of a Lonely Heart by YES is such a pick me up. Maybe it's the guitar riff or the solo at the end but I loved when I heard it as a kid and even now as adult. 

I'm curious, what's your fav or "go to" song that you could listen to on repeat endlessly. 

Hey fam! Yesterday, I took a rest day and I'll be doubling up for today. I love both of these classes on the board, especially the 30 min Standing sculpt 200. 

My specific goal is to try a new recipe. This week I'll be making a Texas Caviar Dish. I recently had this dish at a party and I cannot stop thinking about it. It's salad of beans, corns, bell peppers, onion,  avocado, cilantro. These are by far my favorite flavors! 😍

 I'm excited to get creative and put my own spin on this dish, I've found many varieties of the recipe. Has anyone else enjoyed this dish?? 

Love to you all!! I hope you have an awesome start to the week. 

Hey fam! How is it going so far? 

Today, it was so challenging for me to stay on the mat that I attempted today's class twice and it was the second time around that I completed the entire workout from start to finish. 

Learning to ride the wave has been my biggest takeaway from participating in these challenges; some days the motivation is there and everything feels spot on, while some days you have to practice discipline and give yourself grace. Knowing that motivation comes and goes has strengthened my will to practice daily and keep the spirit of play alive. (Embracing the "I get to") That keeps me showing up/coming back lol  Therefore, today was bit messy, my movement wasn't sharp and at times I was chasing the choreo and that's alright in my book. 

I hope you are all doing well! And if you are having any difficulties, I hear yah! We're in this together. 

What ways do you keep yourself discipline and on track when the motivation seems far way? I'd love to hear what you have to say! 

Keeping my goals simple and ongoing for the challenge this summer season. ☀️ This summer I intend to have a spirit of fun, play, and joy. Typically, summer is a difficult season with anxiety but this year I'd to change that by taking those painful memories and feelings bringing them into peaceful meaning. Cheering you all on- I believe you! 

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing is so gentle as real strength.”

I did the live from Saturday today, and I was reminded of this beautiful poem I grew up with that my grandmother shared with me to help ease the pain of being teased as a child. I was too much, too smart, too loud, too sensitive... you get it. And at times I still think of myself as too much and feel tempted to hide myself out of fear that people won't like me or give me a chance. I hope these words can bring someone a sense of relief as it did for myself. 

Looking forward to the Summer Challenge this Saturday! Are there anyways you are getting prepared?? I'm cheering you all on all. <3

Take of yourselves and one another!